Smackdown Results

WWE SmackDown RECAP – July 23, 2021

*John Cena to the ring…he plays into the sports news of the day & claims he’s changed his middle name to “Guardians” (like the Cleveland Indians just did)…then he asks the crowd which team they are on: Team Cena or Team Reigns?  Paul Heyman out in front of the ‘tron…Roman Reigns can’t hear you, because you’re not worth him listening to…but you will get an answer tonight, when the Tribal Chief (ziiiing!) feels like it.

(1)  Finn Balor defeats Sami Zayn…Coup de Grâce for the win (08:52).

*Baron Corbin backstage with Kayla…actually lost money on his BaronFundMe page because his IT guy stole his identity…he rode the bus to work.

*Big E. to the ring…gets a nice “you deserve it” chant from the Cleveland fans…Apollointerrupts, reminds Big E. that he beat him for the IC title…Ziggler & Roode interrupt, barely get a word out…Nakamura interrupts…Cesaro interrupts, “I want that IC title”…brawl breaks out…Big E/Cesaro/Nakamura hold the ring as…

*Cole & McAfee “throw it” to the outdoor ring set up in the middle of a hip hop festival outside Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens where we will have our next 2 matches…Walehypes the crowd & introduces the Street Profits…the crowd is so into it (#sarcasm) that they could all be extras in the next sequel to “A Quiet Place”…but WWE makes sure to pump in some crowd noise.

(3)  Bianca Belair defeats Carmella…retains her SmackDown Women’s Championship…Kiss of Death for the win (04:44)…AND NOW…back to the fans in Cleveland, who must be as confused as I was watching the last two segments.

*Kevin Owens backstage “helping” Shotzi & Nox fix the tank…then KO runs into Baron Corbin, who half-heartedly apologizes for being a jerk last week…KO gives Corbin a couple $20 bills out of his wallet & advises him to stop being such a jerk to everyone all the time…Shotzi fires the tank’s gun & hits Corbin in the yambag…Ziggler/Roode steal the money he drops…KO chases them off with a chair.  What the hell is going on here tonight?

*Edge to the ring…there’s one reason why he’s not Universal Champion: Seth Rollins…Seth has no idea the depths Edge will sink to in order to get the job done…Seth Rollins interrupts, “you have been such a scumbag to me & nothing would make me happier than crushing your dreams”…Edge attacks, hits Edge-cution…Rollins bails to avoid Spear.

(4)  Toni Störm defeats Zelina Vega…Toni hits the “Storm-1” (that crazy hip-toss cutter she debuted in NXT) for the win (02:34).

(5)  Jimmy Uso defeats Dominik Mysterio…after a series of botches & sloppy reversals that McAfee attempts to save by describing as “a counter to a counter to a counter” Dom attempts a sunset flip…Jimmy catches Dom’s legs & sits down into a pinning combo for the win, with a little help from Jey’s feet for leverage again (07:48)…AFTER…Roman’s music hits…

WAIT, WHAT?!